I participated in the widely circulating game of 11 Randoms and it has been cool to learn a lot about all of you through this game of tag, but yesterday while pedaling and running to nowhere (on the spin bike and treadmill) I had a lot of thoughts going through my head of the things that have been driving me crazy lately. I tried to remember them all but I’m sure I’ve missed a few. With that as way of background I am bringing you 11 Random Rants and there are no questions to be asked, no tagging to be done. If you want to comment with a random rant then do so. If you want to created your own 11 Random Rants then do so and let me know so I can head over to your blog and read and laugh with enjoyment and nod my head in agreement.
Here We Go:
- Hey JackNut driver…..put DOWN the phone. Sitting at a red light and picking up your phone to Tweet that you are at a stoplight or to see if anybody sent you a message in the time it took you to go from the last light to this one is absurd. Unless your POTUS you are not getting that many messages. Oh and by the way don’t give me the finger when I honk at you to move your car…..you are in the wrong, not me. Get moving and drive safely!
- While on the car note…..excuse me but do you have some special f’n privileges that allows you to ride the shoulder in traffic? Who are you? And again, unless you are POTUS wait in line like the rest of us. Don’t get pissed off when I put my car half-way in the shoulder to block you from passing. I have to wait and so do you.
- Hello sir/madam at the self-checkout. This is for a quick checkout which means nothing more than a basket full of goodies. If you pull up here with a cart full of food I am going to tell you to go to a different aisle as this is not the place for that, and not the 15 items or less is not the option. Follow the rules and we will all get along.
- Sports Teams Owners who think that an investment in a player for $214 million dollars over 9 years with no opt-out clause or those that sign players to $250 million over 10 years. Really? WTF are you thinking? In scenario #1 you do realize that if the guy flat-out sucks in two years you are stuck with him because nobody is taking on a big rolly polly with a contract that big. By the way you are the Detroit Tigers and who is going to pay the inflated ticket prices it is going to take to pay this salary? You are not the New York Yankees whose fans don’t always show up (look at the 80s.) In scenario #2 Mr. Owner you do realize that you are going to have to make $500 Million or a $1/2 Billion in revenue for that deal to be considered a success. Does winning 1 or 2 World Series equate to $500M? I don’t think so, and again at a stadium in Los Angeles where the fans are not necessarily 100% into the game why you would do this is astounding.
- I’m sorry to tell you this Mr Paleo, Mr Gluten Free, Ms Vegan, Ms Vegetarian, Mr Carnivore but there is no one way to eat for everybody. Some of us don’t want to eat meat and that’s ok. Others don’t want to eat only plants and that is ok too. Let me eat what I want as long as it is healthy and in portion control I will be fine. Keep you scientific studies to yourself b/c with the power of the Interwebs I can find a study that counter attacks yours.
- Excuse makers. Karen addressed this on Monday but I can’t stand it. If you did or did not do something then own up to it either way. Don’t tell me you were going to start this or that and then not do it. This is not just for working out, but in life. If I approach you as a sales rep and you tell me that you are going to get started on January 1st don’t make me chase you down to get it started only to have you tell me that you are not doing it. Have some respect for me and my time and call to say it isn’t happening…..you won’t be the first or the last sale I lose. If you are making excuses about working out then I can’t help you. You have to have the desire to do it and excuses will get you nowhere.
- Ms Paula Deen. Do I need to say anymore? Seriously lady, if it wasn’t enough that you were sending out messages that cooking with 6 lbs of butter, lard and shortening wasn’t enough you kept your diabetes a secret for years. Toss in the fact that you are now profiting from what you did to yourself by signing a deal with Novartis and I am mad at myself for being in shock at this. You on the other hand have no leg to stand on when it comes to being shocked that other chefs and the Food Network are not running to your defense and side.
- To anybody with my email address…..do not forward good luck chain emails, porn, political jokes, etc as you are not the only other person on the planet with an email account and I’ve probably gotten that same email from 10 other people already. Thank you in advance for not sending it to me.
- Creativity in the arts……where has it gone? Seriously 21 Jump Street the movie!!!!! You didn’t learn a lesson from Dukes Of Hazard or any number of other failed TV shows to movies? What’s next: One Day At A Time? Facts Of Life: The Elderly Years?
- Coffee. That is all it is…..nothing more and nothing less. Please stop ordering triple venti half-caf decaf with extra steam and ultra fiery dante’s inferno hot……IT’S COFFEE! You can get it either as Coffee or Decaf Coffee. Oh I’m sorry you wanted an Espresso or Cappuccino then you should have gone to the Italian restaurant for lunch/dinner and had it served with a real pistachio biscotti.
- I don’t eat any of this stuff anymore but is there a reason to have 15 varieties of Doritos or Oreos or any # of snacks? I mean you had Doritos and you hit it big with Cool Ranch but stop there. Oreos are two chocolate wafers with some vanilla like substance in the middle. Is it necessary to double stuff it, or make it mint or strawberry or reverse it with Vanilla wafers and a chocolate like substance in the middle? Leave well enough alone.
OK, I actually have quite a bit more but I said 11 Random Rants and I’m sticking to my own rules here (except for the bonus.) Don’t be surprised if another 11 Random Rants comes out soon…..now add yours.
What Are You Ranting On Today?