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I spend a lot of time thinking about life, and especially about triathlon and what it is going to take to not just get through Ironman Texas but the training. I also worry about the let down after the race, which will have to be short-lived because training will begin soon there after for Ironman Arizona. Tackling two 140.6 races in the same year, I have been told is crazy. When I think about this task I think to myself: It’s crazy to you but makes perfect sense to me and I love a challenge. This may break me and may drive me from the sport altogether, but I have already laid carrots out there for me to chase.
My carrots of choice consist of MiTi in August of 2013 and Leadman 125 and Leadman 250 in 2014. In between I am hoping that I go back to Puerto Rico in March of 2013 so that I can qualify for 70.3 World Championships in Las Vegas of November 2013. I keep laying out my challenges and making sure that they are bigger than the previous challenge and just out of reach so that I have to stretch myself to get there. I do not set tasks so easy that I have no motivation to get up and train or don’t feel satisfied when I accomplish the task.
We all dream and fantasize about the people we want to become. Yes, many of you are happy with who you are but if you stay stagnant will you be happy with that person tomorrow? I doubt it and so we set these goals up to pursue and should we fail we have a decision to make. Do we dust ourselves off and try again (sorry Beyonce’) or do we stand up, get our ball and go home pouting. I for one will fight. I for one will dust myself off and speak to myself in uncertain terms and it usually ends up with: What do you have to lose? What are you scared of? Failure? If you didn’t fail, then you would not know what the thrill of succeeding felt like.
Yesterday I was reading Inside Triathlon’s article by TJ Murphy titled No Fear. The article refers to Mark Allen’s 1989 triumph over Dave Scott in Kona and how fear had gripped him the 6 previous times they raced. How he was afraid that something would go wrong. He was scared that others were more prepared than he was. That he was not prepared enough to take on the event. When he finally conquered those fears is when he went on to win Ironman and 5 more before retiring.
That is where I am today. I have conquered the fear of registering for triathlons. I know I belong in the sport. I know I can swim 1.2 miles, ride 56 miles and then run 13.1 miles. Today I just want to do it faster than I did the last time. I have not stepped to the starting line of a 140.6 mile journey but I’m mentally prepared. I felt mentally prepared last year to take on the distance but now I know I can do it. How can I be so confident when I have never done it before? That is the answer and the question. If I am fearful of the distance going in then I will be crippled by it and not enjoy myself. Knowing that my coach has put me in a position to succeed has raised my confidence. I also view race day as the reward for the weeks and months of training.
When I get to Puerto Rico I will not be paralyzed with fear of finishing the race, or fear of going faster than 5:28 and getting to 5:10. My fear, and driving force, will be pushing through the pain. This training cycle I have focused on embracing the pain. Knowing that the lactate wall is going to come at some point and I’m going to have to do everything I can to get through it is where I am today. In 6 weeks I will be in San Juan lining up with other men in the 35-39 Age Group and I will not focus on how prepared they are, but instead on how prepared I am to conquer that pain. How prepared I will be to swim as I’ve never swam before. To ride like I’ve never ridden before. To run as if the world’s existence rested on my shoulders.
When I cross the finish line, no matter what happens I will know that I gave it my all. That I stared down those fears and beat them. I often ask myself how I got to this point of not fearing. I think the answer lies in how my life has unfolded and how I couldn’t control any of it. My father was diagnosed with cancer and I found out about it during my graduation from college in 1995. It was only a few short years later that he passed away and I was the ‘man’ of the house. Not much after that my mother and sister moved to Charlotte leaving me alone in New York without nuclear family to lean on and I had to make it. My mother was a phone call away yes, but I could not go to her house to visit her. Getting divorced after 7 years of marriage to a person I had known since I was 13. Following that divorce I packed up my stuff and moved to a city where I knew nobody and was as far away from NYC as you could get, Dallas. I re-married a woman with a very young son and all of the sudden I was a step-father. All of these ‘little’ items in life have led me to be who I am today.
Life is very short and there is no reason to fear anything because things will happen whether you want them to or not. Better to not get caught up in the moment and look at the big picture. That brief moment when it hurts like hell during your training or racing is but a brief moment. A day has 24 hours in it and if you race a Half-Ironman and it takes 6 hours then that is only 1/4 of a day. You have so much time after that. If you race a marathon in 4 hours that is only 1/6 of the day. You have so much time after that. These training sessions and races are not forever so there is no need to fear for you will soon have a recovery day or a transition in which to gather your bearings.
It is definitely a mind game. On my ride of 50 miles today I was thinking that the IM distance sure is far. Maybe it was because it was 75F out and tree pollen is out draining all the energy out of me… but the fact of the matter is you have to break the distance into segments making it more palatable.
2010 was my attempt at 3 in one year and I would have gone 3 for 3 instead of 2 for 3 had it not been for stupidity of not Tri sliding my feet to prevent blisters.
Believe it or not, you reach a point where you actually think you can do one a month… now that’s the zone to be in!!
Bob recently posted..Chewbacca Legs
First off, Bob is crazy.
Something I have learned this year is that it is really all about base. When we are new to the sport we want to go fast but our bodies just cannot handle it. Then after a few years of consistent training our old PR’s are just daily training paces. You have no fear b/c you have put in the training and you know you are ready for the IM distance. Few first timers are in that position.
Jeff Irvin recently posted..Stuff I Have Enjoyed this Week …
Yes Bob is nuts. As much as I would love to race all day everyday the thought of even thinking of doing an IM a month sounds nuts.
I have been learning so much about all of this stuff going through IM training and it is all so eye-opening and unreal. As you have said so many times before IM is a different animal and I am seeing that in the training alone.
CTER recently posted..Frugal Grocer – Week #5
And that mindset is exactly why you will be successful.
As I was approaching mile 60 of my bike yesterday, J asked how I could stand to workout for that long and how I managed to keep going. I told him it was because I was prepared to go that far. I wanted to go that far. I hope that I remember those things when I toe the line.
Tonia recently posted..11:58:36
Fear is such a great teacher. It serves as a good reminder to look deeper instead of turning away. It’s always the last obstacle before the a beautiful moment. It’s what makes us grow. I, too, am in for my first 140.6 and it’s a goal that seems insane, yet when I look back, so has everything else that I’ve accomplished at one time! Love this post!
Rose @ Eternal Recess recently posted..Month 1
You have the mental game down and you are continually getting stronger physically. You are going to own it out there and you inspire me daily with your determination and strength! You help me believe that I can do it too.
marlene recently posted..Saturday Workout Extravaganza
I think you really have the mental game down as well or better than anyone – and fear makes you grow. I mean, facing your fear does anyway….I find that lots of times things are not nearly as scary as you think they are going to be when you get down and do it…
You are awesome…I love how you set a goal and just go for it. I think you are super inspiring. I can’t wait to see you in August!!!
Mandy recently posted..Wagging Wednesday: Patiently Waiting